Redemption
by Americangirl
Summary: Begins after Jesus, etc. Part 1. Fitz is out of juvie and has found God, Clare is torn between wanting to believe him and fearing that Eli will go crazy if she befriends his enemey. Eli is starting to scare her, and Fitz may be the only one that can help
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This Prologue may seem out of left field, but it will all make sense in the end. This story is Flare centered, and while I respect all Eclare shippers, I just want it known that if you hate Flare, you will hate this! Jesus etc. Part 1 is referenced, and the promos for Jesus, etc Part 2 are referenced in my own way. It's just my little take on how things should go down if I had my way with the whole Fitz, Clare, and Eli triangle.

Prologue

She had not expected to find it when cleaning her room. She had sworn that she had thrown ever last piece of her relationship with him in the trash so long ago but yet there they were-the happy, young, naïve couple in the glossy colored photo starring up at her.

"What have you got there?" Clare almost dropped the photo in surprise at the male voice that had spoken to her. She thought she was alone, but how could she forget? Eli was picking her up in an hour. Had she wasted an hour in cleaning out her closet?

Clare spun around with a smile.

"It's nothing," she said, crumbling and tossing the photo into the wastebasket.

"Well, it looks like something. Are we keeping secrets?" Eli smiled but he looked concerned as he reached into the trash and smoothed out the picture.

"It's just KC and me from a million years ago. I was surprised to find it, I thought my room was KC free." She laughed softly to show Eli that the picture, like her long ago relationship with KC, meant nothing to her now.

Eli laughed too.

"I can't believe you dated a jock." He shook his head in mock disgust, "Good thing you traded up." He re-crumbled the photograph and threw into the trashcan.

Claire nodded.

"It almost seems like it's a story I once read. I am familiar with the characters and plot lines, but it doesn't feel like it actually happened to me. And I cannot believe how sad I was, I was devastated. I thought my heart was being ripped out." She was rambling, and the last sentence made Eli flinch. Did it bother him to hear about her heartbreak? All she was trying to say was that she didn't even understand how she could have felt that pain for KC now. But she had felt it. She had been sick for weeks, thinking that the pain would not end. But it had, and it all seemed foolish to her now.

She walked over to Eli and put her arms around his waist.

" I can't believe how stupid I was, or how lucky I am now."

Eli responded by wrapping his arms around her, and Clare knew everything was ok.

"I am the lucky one," Eli breather into her ear.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

Fitz. Jesus. Fitz. Jesus. Eli. Fitz. Jesus.

All the names collided in her head as she tossed and turned in her bed. How had a seemingly perfect week gone so terribly bad? This was the last thing Clare had ever expected. Not seeing Fitz, that she knew would have to happen sooner or later. But a Christian Fitz? An apologetic Fitz? A changed Fitz? And an angry Eli. She hated seeing Eli like that. It actually scared her, and she knew you weren't suppose to be scared of the guy you loved, and who loved you back.

And what had she been thinking talking to Fitz at the Dot? Was she just trying to prove something to herself? To prove she wasn't the scared girl he had last seen at Vegas Night? Was she trying to read him? To see if he was teasing her earlier at Degrassi when he said he had found Jesus? Hadn't she been fooled by him before?

Vegas Night replayed in her mind, but unlike so many times before she didn't focus on the end-the knife, the fear, the evil look on Fitz's face. This time she thought about the moments before the dance-the corsage, the cute girl and physics parts. She had thought he was nice, she thought he was endearing. But then he had pulled a knife on Eli, her Eli, and even though she had promised to forgive, how could she ever forget?

She wouldn't forget, she promised to herself. She was glad Fitz had found Jesus, and she even believed him, but she that didn't mean she had to defend him to anyone. And she certainly wasn't going to cause a problem with Eli over Fitz. Eli had been furious to see them talking together. And why shouldn't he be? Clare reassured herself. He did try to stab him. Or scare him. Clare wasn't sure which. But her mind had no room for doubts.

But hadn't Fitz wanted a truce? Hadn't Eli tampered with his drink? How did Fitz even know what he had put in there? It could have been far worse than just something to make him vomit for all Fitz knew.

No. No. No. Clare angrily shook the thoughts from her heard and played over all her favorite Eli moments in her head. He was the type of guy she always wanted. He was sensitive, and deep, and loving. What more could anyone ask for?

And slightly possessive. Where had the thought come from? Maybe on the drive to her house from the Dot after the Fitz incident, Eli had been possessive. Maybe he had "declared" that Clare was done talking to Fitz. That he had apologized and that was all Clare needed to hear from him. Maybe he was telling her what she could and couldn't do, but it was only because Fitz was involved, right?

The thought haunted her.

Ding-Dong.

Clare sat straight up in her bed and reached for her glasses. 11:12 pm on a Monday night. Who would be at her door that late? She was frightened. Her mom was at her grandmoms for the entire week, helping her after coming out of the hospital. She was alone. What if it's a rapist, she quickly though. Do they ring the doorbell? She wasn't sure and cursed herself for not watching more true crime television.

She quietly creeped to the living room, and peered through the curtains to see a shadowy and dark figure at her door. She tried to look closer and could distinguish that it was definitely a male teenager. Eli? No too tall. Without thinking she pulled open the door.

"Fitz?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

He was rain soaked with a cut beneath his eye. He was trembling from the cold, or the fight he had clearly been in, or both. Clare was speechless but her Saint Claire mentality kicked in.

"Come in," she instructed, and ran up the steps to the bedroom her parents had once shared. When she came down with some old pants and a shirt her dad had left behind when he moved out, she found Fitz still standing in the same spot, a pool of water drippings on her mom'ss hardwood floors.

"Here put these on," she gave Fitz these clothes and steered him toward the hallway bathroom, "You can change in here."

She waited for him in the living room, pacing back and forth between the sofa and the loveseat. Mark Fitzgerald was in her half bathroom. Mark Fitzgerald was in her house. Alone. At close to midnight. The thought freaked her out.

When he emerged, he looked sheepish, almost shy in the oversized clothes her dad had once worn.

"I guess they are a little big," Clare said not knowing what else to say. Why are you here, would have been a start but the words scared her.

"Listen Clare, I'm sorry I came here. I didn't know where else to go." Fitz's eyes were fixed on the floor.

"What happened to your eye?" She couldn't help but ask.

"Eli." The name jolted her heart. Eli? Was he okay? Futz was capable of anything.

"If you hurt him…" she started but Fitz looked up and met her eye cutting her off.

"Clare, I wouldn't do that. I told you I have changed. I know you might not believe me, but I will spend my life trying to convince you of that. I wouldn't hurt Eli, or anyone else for that matter." Clare didn't know why, but she thought she might actually believe him.

"What happened then?" She still needed to know.

"He was waiting for me after my shift got done at the Dot. He wanted to fight, but I wouldn't. He just started attacking me and telling me to stay away from you. He said he would kill me if I ever even looked your way. He was out of control."

"Well, what do you expect? You tried to kill him!" Claire felt defensive of Eli.

"Look, I wasn't going to kill him. But what I did, trying to scare him-that was still really wrong. I know that. But I think Eli is snapping Clare. I know what its like. I mean, I have snapped before. And before juvie, and counseling, I would never have even thought twice about the type of person I was becoming. But now I do, and I care about being a good person-for God, and my family, and myself."

Clare stood silent, taking it all in. It sounded too good to be true.

"And I am worried about Eli. I know he hates me and doesn't care what I think. But I think he needs help before he hurts someone. Have you noticed it?"

The room feel quiet. Had she noticed it? She had noticed how possessive he had become, and scary at times, and waiting out front of Degrassi "keeping watch." He was angry all the time now.

And it wasn't like things had been perfect before. There was the hoarding and his ex-girlfriend's death that haunted him. Many times Clare had worried about Eli's mental state, but she thought her love could help him through anything.

"I came to you Clare because me and you, we have a spiritual connection."

A spiritual connection? The phrase hung in the air.

"I mean, I felt like you would understand that I could change. That I am not trying to hurt Eli but want to help. I thought you might believe in redemption."

Clare felt funny. Did she believe in the redemption of Fitz? YES. For the first time that day, she felt sure of something. She believed, without a doubt, that Fitz had been saved.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here?" The voice was unmistakable. How had she been so stupid to leave the door unlocked after ushering Fitz in?

"Eli, I just wanted to talk to Clare. Well, really I want to talk to you but you just seem to want to fight." Fitz was talking low, carefully like someone would talk to a man about to jump from the roof of a building.

"I have nothing to say to you!" Eli opened the door wide, "You better go unless you want another busted eye."

"Eli, please don't do this. Fitz only came to talk. He…We are worried about you." Clare was afraid that the WE, the paring of her and Fitz in a plural pronoun, would send Eli over the edge, But she wanted to tell the truth.

Eli laughed, an eerily, echoing laugh.

"Well, you and Fitz don't need to worry. As soon as this scum is out of our lives for good Clare, I will be just peachy keen." Eli's eyes were dark slits with no hint of green remaining.

The door was still hanging awkwardly open.

"Ok, I will go. I didn't mean any trouble." Fitz looked at Clare, "Are you going to be ok?"

"What the hell?" Eli ran and tackled Fitz in one swoop, pummeling him with his fists-hitting his head, his chest, anywhere.

"No!" Clare screamed and lunged herself at Eli, pulling him off with all her strength.

"You think you need to protect my girlfriend , huh? From me? I protect her from everyone! I always protect her." Eli had been screaming non-stop at Fitz.

"You both need to go now!" Clare was yelling louder than she ever even imagined she could.

And as they both left, she quickly locked the door and dead bolted it. There would be no more unwanted guests tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Morning came painfully slow. Clare had gotten little sleep, and longed for the morning when she could be distracted by breakfast and getting ready for school. Her back ached from sleeping on the uncomfortable sofa in her living room. She had been afraid to leave the door unguarded. As she awoke she peered out the large bay window, and noticed a large, black, unmistakable car parked in front of her house. Morty.

"Eli, what are you doing here?"

Eli reached over and opened the door.

"Get in".

For the first time, she felt hesitant to join Eli. She felt scared of him but did it anyway.

"What is going on?"

Eli's knuckles were turning white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

"I couldn't leave last night Clare. What if he came back? What if he hurt you? I needed to stay to watch you."

"Have you gotten any sleep?" She knew she was one to talk, having slept an hour or two the night before. But Eli looked horrible, with his eyes wide and his face unmoving.

"Sleep? Who can sleep? I was up all night thinking. He needs to be stopped Clare, for the good of mankind. I know you don't want me to be violent so fine. But I was thinking of a hundred ways to frame him, you know? He could go back to juvie which he seemed to love so much. Hell, maybe even the big house if I could play my cards right and get him framed for something big. You have to think big Clare, the bigger the better." Eli was talking a mile a minute.

"No, Eli! You have to let this go." Clare tried to make her voice firm and authorative when inside she was scared. Was Fitz right? Was Eli cracking?

"What the hell Clare, do you have feelings for that nut case?" Eli's focus was on her now, and she could feel the hate seething from his eyes. She did care about Fitz-in the same way she would care about anyone who seemed so lost. And she did believe him, and in a weird way she trusted him that he wanted to help Eli and her too. But how could she say any of that to her boyfriend who looked like a mad man at the mere thought of Fitz.

"No, of course not. I just want it to be over with."

Eli sighed in relief, and for a minute he looked like his old self. He looked like the guy Clare had fallen so hard for. But then he began to cry, holding his face in his hands and sobbing.

"I just feel like your slipping away. Don't leave me please?" He looked like a desperate little boy lost in the middle of a large store. How could she turn him away.

"I want leave you Eli." She cradled his head in her hands.

"Thank you Clare, because if you ever did, I don't think I could make it. I wouldn't want to live."

The sentence scared her but she didn't want to dwell on it. She hated seeing Eli so sad.

"Promise me you will never talk to Fitz again, ok? I need you to tell me that or I will go crazy."

Claire nodded, "Okay." She didn't want to say it, but what choice did she have?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

The church was unusually empty for a Sunday morning mass. Maybe it was the fact that Clare had decided to go to the 7:00 am mass for once. She had beat the crowds. She had spent the last week barley sleeping, and finding it hard to focus. The past week had been like a terrible dream.

And now what she needed more then anything was the peace that only church could giver her.

"Hi, Clare" Fitz slid softly into the pew beside her, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

Clare was torn. She had spent the week keeping her promise to Eli, but how could you turn away someone at church? She shook her head no, and was thankfully when the mass began. She wouldn't need to say a word to Fitz for the next hour and hopefully by then she would have thought of something to say.

The morning sunshine shocked her when she opened the heavy church door and walked onto the stone steps of the church. The mass had ended only minutes ago and she had busied herself by signing along with the choir as she made her way out of the church.

"Um…Clare. Can we talk?" Fitz asked sounded nervous.

"Sure. I didn't know you come to this church." Clare wanted to talk about anything besides Eli.

"Well, actually I feel like I should be honest. I go to St. Matthews but I knew you were here. You put it on your twitter this morning."

Clare's cheecks flushed red with anger. "So what are you cyber stalking me now?"

Fitz looked surprised and embarrassed.

"What? No. I mean, in a way I guess but not in a creepy stalker way! I promise. I just needed to see if you were ok. And I figured there was no way Eli would come to mass with you and I was up anyway and saw the twitter update and…..ok it was dumb I guess." For the first time Clare saw Fitz flush with embarrassment. She had made Fitz blush.

She wasn't mad-not really anyway. It was kind of sweet. But she had been "stalked" all week by Eli-in the halls, at her house, he was everywhere. He would call or drop by or just be waiting for her everywhere. Mass was her first escape in days.

"Look, Eli doesn't want me talking to you and I promised I wouldn't. I do think you have changed and I think he will come around. But we shouldn't talk to a while or he would get really mad." Clare knew the words she was saying were so unlike her. She was independent and free, how had she become the type of girl who was controlled by her boyfriend? But its Eli, her heart screamed, and you love him.

"Ok, I can respect what you want but if he does do anything that scare you or worries you, please let me or someone know Clare. He just seems on edge and I am worried."

Clare nodded, "I promise." She answered but she thought it was one promise she would probably not be able to keep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

"So where were you all day yesterday?" Eli appeared at her locker the first moment Clare had gotten to school.

He continued before she could answer.

"I mean I know you have mass but that's at 11. And its an hour plus walking time, that's what, an hour and a half? I started calling you at 12:30, and I sent you a facebook message, and I texted you, and…"

"I know." Clare sighed, "I'm sorry. I had a lot of work to do. I have four tests this week and a paper due and I was overwhelmed. I even went to the 7:00 am mass just to have the whole day free to study and stuff."

"Wait, so you were home by 8:30 and I don't hear from you alld ay?" What part of studying didn't you hear? Clare thought. Why did she feel like she was drowning, and Eli was the one holding her head underwater.

He needs me she reminded herself, like I needed him when my parents were divorcing. Why am I being so selfish?

"God Clare, did you ever think I needed to talk to you? I mean, is something going on? Who were you with yesterday?" Eli looked at her suspiciously.

Does my face give it away? Clare thought, does he know Fitz was at mass with me?

"No one. I told you I was studying." Clare reached into her locker to grab a book rather then meet Eli's eyes. How did Saint Clare become a liar?

Eli touched her shoulders and she turned around.

"Sorry Clare. I have just been so worried. I know you wouldn't lie to me. I just thought…maybe you had seen Fitz or something," he smiled, "which is crazy I know. You promised me and you would never do that to me."

"That's right I promised, so can we please try to relax and maybe enjoy this week?"

Clare couldn't imagine going through another week like the last one.

"Actually yes, because of this….." Eli reached into his pocket and pulled open a switch blade.

He traced it along his neck, making a cutting motion.

"Because if Fitz comes near you…he's dead."

"That's disturbing." Clare said, afraid to say what she really thought. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Because she thought, maybe he had.

"C'mon Clare it's just a little extra protection. As long as he stays away, he will be fine."

"Please put it away." Clare tried to stay clam.

Eli shrugged as if the knife was no big deal at all, and slipped it back into his pocket.

"So after school, let's head to my house. I will be waiting at your locker."

Clare wanted to protest, what about those four upcoming tests? But she knew it would be useless. Either way, Eli would be glued to her side.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

Clare had managed to convince Eli that she had to be home in time to have dinner with her mother, since it was the first night back from her grand mom's. In actuality, this was not true. Her grand mom was not doing too well, and her mom would need to stay another week. But she would have done anything to get a minute or two away from Eli's watchful eyes, and continuous questioning.

She didn't know what had drawn her to the Dot, or why she had been afraid to go in as she had done a million times. But instead she watched the big glass windows, with people eating and talking at tables, from across the street, unsure of what to do.

"Clare? I thought that was you." Fitz started crossing the street before she could run away. Damn those big glass windows, she thought. Now I look like a stalker.

"Hey Fitz." She tried to sound casual.

"What's going on? I saw you standing out here and didn't know if you were waiting for someone or something?" He looked quickly around. I'm sure he thinks I am waiting for Eli intead of running from him, Clare thought.

"I guess I was waiting for you." Her response surprised even her. But it was the truth. Fitz had brought her to the Dot.

Fitz looked confused but happy.

"For me?"

"Yeah, I needed to talk to you. It's about Eli. I felt like I should warn you. He has a knife."

"This is what I was worried about. I feel like he is wound so tightly with his hate that anything could happen." Fitz looked lost in thought. "We should talk to Father Gregory. He can help Eli."

Clare shook her head no.

"He said if you stay away from me, he won't hurt you."

"Is he scaring you, Clare? Tell me the truth please."

She wanted to lie but Fitz looked so concerned and she couldn't find the right words.

"Yes." That was the only thing she could think of to say.

Fitz motioned to the cement steps in front of them, and they both sat down.

"I get it. I use to be angry all the time too. I was angry because my dad died three years ago and I lost my perfect family. And I was angry because no one ever seemed to notice me. And I was angry because I never felt like I could be myself with anyone. And I was angry because Eli got whatever he wanted all the time."

"What? Eli hasn't had it easy, you know? What did Eli get?" Clare was beyond confused.

"I know that now. I know no one has it easy and that's why I could never hate anyone like that again. I just felt like….Eli had you. And you never even noticed me until I started beating up him and Adam. And that dumb Vegas night deal. I had myself convinced that you would finally see that I was better for you then Eli. But then, when you were in on the whole poisoning my drink thing, I knew I was a fool to let my guard down with you. And I got angry again and I wanted to embarrass Eli by scaring him. I didn't' think and that's what happens when all you see is your own anger." Fitz was avoiding Clare's eyes. If he could just keep looking down, then maybe the gravity of his words wouldn't hit him. Maybe he wouldn't have to feel so bad about revealing all this to her. Why did he feel so comfortable with her, when she clearly barely tolerated him?

Clare was dumbstruck. She was the reason for Fitz's hatred of Eli?

"I was never in one poising your drink. In fact. Eli asked me before I went to school to meet you if I would put it in your drink, and I refused. The whole thing made me sick."

"Me too," Fitz laughed remembering how he had puked in the gym. But Clare remained serious.

"It's ok now but I remember you told us to switch drinks, and then I got the one with the stuff in it."

Clare was slowly putting together the pieces of the puzzle. Fitz was so mad because he thought-she-the girl he liked had been in on the scheme that embarrassed him in front of the whole school?

"No, I did that because I suspected that Eli being a jerk and not listening to me, did tamper with your drink. I thought if you switched, then he would get sick. But he knew me well enough to know I would never stand back without doing anything."

Fitz laughed.

"I feel so dumb. And I called you a bitch too. I'm an ass."

Clare put her hand on his arm.

"I'm an ass too. I didn't realize that maybe Vegas Night meant more to you then just some deal to stop a feud. This whole thing has gotten so out of hand."

Fitz nodded.

"I know. That' what anger and hate does."

"Fitz, will you come to my house after your shift? I want to talk more but I'm afraid someone will see us. No one is home at my house. Just be sure to look out for Eli's hearse. I don't want you to get hurt, but I just don't want to be alone either. "

The words had just come out with out her thinking. Why did she want Fitz to come to her house? Why did she feel excited at the prospect of being alone with him? Sure, she could pretend it was only to talk about Eli and what they could do to help him. But something inside her told her it was more. And when Fitz reached over and squeezed her hand, she knew it was definitely more.

"I'll be there," He answered.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you so much to my reviewers. I appreciate all reviews. For the purpose of moving my plot along, Alli did not run away. I like that whole story line but I need her in this chapter!

Chapter Seven

What the hell had she been thinking? Clare couldn't stop asking herself that question over and over again as she watched the clock. Fitz said he got off at ten tonight. How many hours did that buy her? Two. The thought scared her but still she hated the waiting and needed desperately to take her mind off the ever passing minutes. Fitz would be alone with her again. The thought sent a surge of electricity through her-excitement? Nervousness? Fear? She was confused and more than anything she needed a friend.

"Hey Alli," She had no one else to call. Adam would be loyal to Eli of course, but she thought maybe Alli would understand. She had done a lot of crazy things, and maybe she would be able to put all of Eli's recent actions into perspective.

"That is so sweet!" Alli said in a sing song voice after hearing about Eli's possessiveness, fighting Fitz, the knife, and the constant checking up on her.

"What?" Clare couldn't believe her ears. She had wanted Alli to help her understand Eli better, but hadn't expected Alli to be so thrilled by his new, sometimes insane actions.

"Alli, did you hear me? He has a knife! And he won't even let me have a minute to myself!" For a minute Clare felt that it was possible that no one could understand how she felt.

"Yeah, Yeah I get it. But he loves you Clare! And you love him, so the stalking is ok. It shows he loves you! And he is being all macho with Fitz! It's like a movie!"

Clare should have known Alli would react like this. They may be best friends but they had very different views on relationships and love.

"That is not showing love. If you love someone, you trust them and you let them make their own decisions. I mean, I like Fitz and…"

"Wait, you like Fitz?" Alli screamed so loud that Clare had to pull her phone away from her ear. Had she said like? She meant tolerated.

"I believe that he has changed is all I meant. And I don't like being told who I can and can not talk to by Eli. I like even less when he threatens to physically harm someone."

Why was she suddenly trying to convince Alli how wrong Eli was? Hadn't she called her for the very thing she was getting-Eli support?

"It's not like he wants to harm some innocent person! It's Fitz who tried to stab him!"

"He tried to scare him, he wasn't going to kill him. And Eli was a part of the whole thing by messing with his drink. Besides, Fitz has changed while Eli is still angrily continuing a non-existing feud. Smothering someone isn't adorable Alli. Trying to own someone is also not cute. And it's not love-it's obsession." Clare couldn't believe how strongly she believed in her own words. She never wanted to be owned by Eli or KC or any boy. She wanted to be an equal with them, an equal allowed to make her own choices, and even mistakes without being watched or interrogated.

"Well, whatever Clare Bear. You know I love you either way. Maybe it is time you leave Eli, what do I know? I have had zero successful relationships in my life."

Leave Eli? Who said anything about breaking up with him? Clare wondered. Is that what she wanted, is that what she felt she had to do?

Not if I can get him to realize he needs help, she thought. Suddenly, she was glad Fitz was coming over in less than two hours. If he had realized he needed help, then maybe he would have some answers about how to get Eli to face the truth too.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

How had one night turned into five consecutive nights alone with Mark Fitzgerald? It had become their routine. Every night when he got off work, he would ride his bike to Clare's and stay for an hour or two to talk. She could barely believe she had once watched the clock with fear while she waited for Fitz to arrive at her house, when lately all she felt was anticipation.

But tonight would be there last night, she knew it had to be. Not only because her mom would be home tomorrow but because she knew she could not hide it from Eli any more. He had been tightening his grasp on her more and more. He wanted every moment accounted for, and he had become paranoid about all the possible "threats" to their relationship. She was tired of re-assuring him, and tired of making promises to be by his side forever. She was 16, what did forever mean to her anyway? But she knew she had to deal with things sooner, rather than later. And a plan had been forming in her mind since the first night her and Fitz talked.

Although if she was being honest, their time had been spent less talking about Eli, and more about getting to know each other. She hadn't meant it to be like that, but after a day spent being followed by Eli, and being emotionally drained by his clinginess, she often wanted a break from the reality of the train wreck her love life had become. Fitz was her escape.

Clare had learned so much more about Fitz then she ever thought possible. When he was just a school bully to her, he had seemed one dimensional but now he was in 3D. He had a crappy life these days-with a controlling stepfather, drunk mom, and cruel stepbrothers. But he still had a great sense of humor and could flip from a sad story, to cracking a joke in a millisecond. And Clare was thankful for that-they both had too much sadness in their life these days. Laughter was a welcomed switch.

Tonight when he arrived at 10:15 as usual, Clare spoke up first.

"Listen Fitz. I really like hanging out with you and all but tomorrow my mom will be home so these evening hangouts have to stop."

She hated having to say it.

Fitz raised an eyebrow

"Is that the only reason? I told you before Clare, I will respect whatever you want but I need you to be honest."

It was the second time he had said he would respect whatever she wanted since he reappeared. She liked that he said that, it felt like no one respected what she wanted these days.

Clare sighed. Fitz and her were friends now, and he deserved honesty.

"Well, my mom is coming back and she would kill me if she knew I had a cute boy coming over every night…" Cute? What had made her say that. She continued on quickly hoping the cute word would get lost among her sentences. "But I can't lie to Eli anymore either. He would go insane if he knew we were meeting like this."

"I don't think you should lie to him Clare. That's never good in a relationship. But I hate that you're afraid of him too. That's not so great either."

Fitz's eyes were locked firmly on hers.

"I know which is why I am going to have an intervention for him." Clare's plan had been forming in her mind all week.

"What? Is he on drugs or something?"

"No, it will be like an I'm worried you are losing your mind intervention. I am going to talk to his parents and Adam. If I can get them to support me then maybe we can get Eli into therapy. And if he can get some help then he will change and…"

"And you guys can live happily ever after." Fitz looked sad as he said the words.

"Is that a bad thing?" Clare had thought Fitz would support the redemption of Eli, the way she supported the redemption of him.

"No, I'm sorry that was an incredibly selfish thing to say. Yes, I think therapy would help Eli a lot and I will be praying for you and him." Fitz suddenly turned to head back towards the door.

"You don't have to leave. You just got here." Clare hadn't thought their time together would end so quickly.

"Actually I do need to leave Clare. But I feel like I need to tell you something especially since you were honest with me."

"What is it Fitz?"

Fitz took a deep breath and averted his eyes.

"When I was in juvie I had a special place to go in my mind –You. I just felt like you should know that I have feelings for you. I guess I kind of always have and that's why I was being so selfish about the Eli stuff. But I know you love him, and I think he can change. I won't ever think he's good enough for you, but it's not my choice. I just don't want you to be scared of him anymore."

"Fitz…" Clare began but could not find anything to say.

Fitz shrugged, "I guess it's better if we don't hang out anyway. I don't think I would be a very good friend to you when I am in love with you and you are with another guy."

Clare reached out to touch Fitz's hand. She wanted to hold onto him for a minute longer. She wanted him to stay. She felt like there was so much more that needed to be said. But instead he simply squeezed her hand, smiled slightly, and left her house without looking back.


End file.
